Blind Spots

“This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.”--1 Corinthians 4:1-5
 
I have theological issues. I simply am not right about everything I believe. I have stepped confidently into the pulpit and preached a sermon only to find out years (or even days) later that I was wrong. Few things anger me more. I have believed and practiced certain “truths” only to find out that, though they may have been thought out, they weren’t in fact true.  I haven’t always been right and I’m not totally right now. I know it. I wish it wasn’t so. But, as a human being, I simply do not have the capacity to get it all right. I want to be right. I want to preach the truth every time I step in the pulpit. I do not want to misrepresent God’s eternal and unchangeable Word. But I struggle because of who I am—because of what I am.
 
Few of us are ever truly able to approach God’s Word without baggage. Most of us were raised in some theological system, even if that system was atheism. Many of us were saved in a theological setting that we later found out didn’t adequately reflect the Scripture. Some of us have learned more than our mentors. Some of us haven’t learned nearly as much as we should. Because of these reasons and a plethora of others, most of us are simply never able to truly approach the Bible as the final authority—as the all-sufficient rule of faith and practice every time we open the Book. Sure, we say it—who doesn’t? But if we’re honest, we often take our “systems” with us to the Bible and we shove them into the text whether they’re there or not. And it’s easy to do—because we are all built that way. Every one of us has blind spots and we’d do well to admit that now. It will help us the next time we open our Bibles.
 
Paul had been judged wrongly by many at the church at Corinth. They’d developed a somewhat official schism in the church—“I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” (1 Corinthians 1:12).  Paul certainly had no desire for fame. He yearned to suffer for the cause of Christ and His kingdom. Yet, those that would follow Apollos or Peter or might even claim to follow Christ judged Paul as unworthy in some sense. In the passage before us, Paul explains his lack of concern for how they might judge him. He certainly had a desire to be known as a “servant” of Jesus—a slave of Jesus, literally. Thus, he was far more concerned with how he might fare when he stands before the Lord. And shouldn’t that be the focus of us all?
 
Now, there should be some regard for a brother or sister that approaches us when we are in sin or in some type of doctrinal error (Matthew 18:15-20, Galatians 6:1). However, that was not the issue here with Paul. They were misjudging him—mislabeling him. As a result, he considered that to be “a very small thing”. And it is, in actuality. When we stand before Christ and our service is judged (2 Corinthians 5:10)—and we will all certainly stand there—we won’t give a second thought to what Brother Aintnobodyrightbutme or Sister Gotitallgoingon thinks. It won’t matter. In fact, Paul says even a “human court” means little to him as compared to the court of the judgment seat of Christ. Listen, the thought of answering to the thrice-holy God of Heaven ought to make us all shudder.
 
But perhaps the most eye-opening section of this passage is what Paul says next—“In fact, I do not even judge myself.” Though, we do judge ourselves, don’t we? And, that judgment usually comes out just fine. I mean, if I judge my own job performance, I’ll pass with flying colors. If I judge my merit for a wage increase, I deserve highest possible raise. In our own eyes, we pretty much excel in all things. And this doesn’t change when we switch to “Christian mode”. Most of us struggle to admit wrong—to admit error—and to change accordingly. And, this struggle to recognize our own problems skyrockets when we were born, raised and saved in a certain system, as most Christians have been. We are effectively brainwashed. It’s the old “I don’t need to study the Bible to know I’m right” position. Or perhaps it’s the “I can show you my system that I believe on every page of the Bible”—though we may want to pass out magnifying glasses at times so our students can see the white spaces we’re exegeting from. It’s who we are. It’s natural. And it’s why Paul says here, “I do not even judge myself.”

He goes on. “For I am not aware of anything against myself.” In other words, I don’t know where my blind spots are. I feel like I’m right. Paul isn’t saying there isn’t anything that could be corrected in his life. A rather light perusing of Romans 7 ought to put that idea to rest. He, like all of us, knew that he didn’t view himself without bias. None of us do. We defend who we are and what we believe because that’s the natural thing to do. It doesn’t mean it’s Scriptural. If we defend God’s Word, that’s admirable. Though, oftentimes we are simply found defending what we’ve always been told without much regard (or study) of Scripture. It’s what’s been labeled as the “I don’t need to read the Bible to know I’m right” syndrome. And, it thrives in a culture where zeal is viewed to be on par with actual knowledge of a subject.
 
Paul doesn’t stop there. Though he doesn’t know of anything he is guilty of, he still yet realizes that “I am not thereby acquitted.” He recognizes that he has blind spots. He understands that he has natural tendencies. And though we all may not realize we are wrong on some things, that doesn’t acquit us when we stand before the Judge one day. Maybe we were sincere—and maybe we thought we knew what we were saying—but that doesn’t change the fact that God will judge us rightly in the end. And so, Paul declares, “It is the Lord who judges me.”
 
Paul closes this thought by saying, “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God.” God will judge us all—let us be aware. None of us is all right—let us acknowledge it. Our motives may be wrong even if we have a doctrine or practice correct—God will judge that as well. The Bible alone has all the answers (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Only the Scripture can fully mature us by teaching us what we need to know. Let us pray the Holy Spirit would illuminate our hearts and minds through His inspired Word in order that we may be able to see where we are blind—so we can recognize our blind spots. And, let us realize along with Paul that though each of us has a tendency to easily see error in others, we generally struggle to see it in our own selves.