Children - Disciples in Training

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
 
Training is work – hard work.  It takes sacrifice and dedication.  Training takes commitment to a cause that you passionately believe in.  But training pays dividends.  The world is full of success stories of those that trained rigorously for secular activities and ultimately excelled in them.  Many people who, perhaps, weren’t blessed with physical talent overcame their inabilities by a commitment to train.  If we know anything in our day, those that commit to proper training generally pass by those that do not.  This is true for students.  This is true for athletes.  But more importantly, this is true for those closest to us whom God has commanded us to train spiritually – our children. 
 
When my first child was born, I clearly remember my father saying, “Son, raising a child is the hardest thing you will ever do”.  Twenty-three years into the profession of parenting, I can say that is absolutely true.  Every day there seems to be a conflicting choice a parent has to make.  Every day a parent has to say “no” to something a child wants but doesn’t need.  Every day it seems our commitments are challenged by a world that wants to move our children in certain directions…and children that believe they want to go that way.  Every day it seems our commitment to our own beliefs is challenged by seemingly every other parent allowing and/or promoting things for their children that we know (at least deep down inside) isn’t what’s best for them.  For example, we all should know that an eight year old does not need complete access to the Internet.  But that position is challenged when ¾ of our eight year old’s friends have an iPhone – and the latest one at that.  That makes for a tough decision for sure.  But right always trumps tough. 
 
For several generations (in America at least), we have been fed the belief that every child needs higher education – that this is the primary goal for our children.  If he doesn’t get one, he has pretty much no chance at life.  Many parents have sacrificed their children’s childhood to achieve such a goal.  God made children to rip and stomp around outside.  They need it like they need food.  If mine are any indication, they need it more than they need food.  I cannot tell you how many times my children have skipped a meal to play outside all day.  Yet, we are now raising a generation in which many children are robbed of their childhood because they’ve just got to overcome the world.  Sadly, this is often for nothing more than bragging rights for the parents.  Yet, we are driving into our children this idea that overcoming this world is the primary goal in life.  Jesus asked, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36).  Yet, many parents find themselves instilling just an attitude of “gaining the whole world” into their children only to find them later forfeiting their souls. 
 
Now some readers at this point probably think I am against higher education.  I am not.  Education can be a good thing.  It’s not always.  But it can be.  For years I worked as a loan officer pulling credit reports before I had the blessing of pastoring full time.  I cannot tell you how many young people owe near $100K in student loan debt and make $10 an hour.  That’s not a good deal.  That’s a poor investment, period.  There was a time when 5% of the population had a degree.  At that time, nearly every degreed individual (no matter the major) had a good paying job.  That simply is not the case today.  Colleges today are money-making institutions.  And they have convinced us our children need them as much as a cancer patient needs chemotherapy or a heart patient needs a triple bypass.  It simply isn’t true.  Now again, I am not against education at all.  I’m for it as long as it benefits a person.  But more than half the time, the college educated individual could do just as well without that education if they consider the student debt that takes 20 years to repay.  This whole paragraph is just a bonus from a guy that has seen it first hand.  You may choose not to believe it, but it’s true.  Now, back to our point…

I hope my kids always continue learning.  If this is through an institution of higher education, that’s good.  But that’s not a priority for me.  It’s well down the list.  I can assure you, this is not in any way the meaning of our text verse. 
 
What should the goal of a Christian parent be for their children?  This ought to be an easy answer. But I fear it’s been somewhat conflicted in our society.  The #1 goal for a Christian parent for their children must be that they come to trust Jesus Christ as their Savior.  There is no other goal that is remotely close to this goal.  If they do not come to know Him, they will die, be condemned and spend eternity in the Lake of Fire suffering for their sins (Revelation 20:11-15).  I don’t mean to scare you…well, if that works maybe I do.  People in hell right now are not rejoicing that they had a degree or drove a nice car or won a little league world championship or won best dressed in their senior class.  None of that really matters.  Seriously…it really doesn’t.  Our #1 goal for our children must be to make them faithful servants of Jesus Christ working through His local church.  And again, no other goal for them comes close to that. 
 
The Bible says, “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’” (Ecclesiastes 12:1).  Yet, I often see Christian parents practically saying, “There’ll be time for the Lord later when you are older.  Now is the time to set yourself up for worldly success”.  What a tragedy.  Many children have been “set up for worldly success” only to die at a young age.  Perhaps even worse, many children have been “set up for worldly success” only to live long lives completely devoid of any spiritual fruit whatsoever.  They may attend church casually, but it’s a long way from the priority in their lives.  We…Christian parents of 2016…have given goals to our children that vary very little at all from the goals of the unbelieving couple next door.  How have we gotten this far?  Simply, we have been duped by the world’s message.  Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money” (Matthew 6:24).  Does your child understand this?
 
So how do we train them?  I mean, that’s the instruction in our text verse.  What are we to do? Simply, we must show them our own commitment to Christ and His church while leading them to follow our example.   Parents that are not committed to church will have children that are even less committed.  I’ve seen this pattern over and over and over again.  Certainly there are times that children who are raised in church leave church.  But that’s on them.  The parent bears no guilt there.  But parents that are not committed almost always raise children that are even less committed. 
 
What do your children believe is a good reason to miss church?  My grandfather always said there is only one reason not to go to church and that’s “just can’t get there”.  That was instilled into my father.  He led us to attend church first while everything else came second.  God has certainly blessed that attitude in our family.   But again, what do your children believe is a good reason to miss church?  They are learning these reasons from you.  Do they believe vacation is a good reason?  A sporting event?  A family gathering?  Just a late day getting out of bed?  These are a few common reasons that families miss church.  I’m certain many more could be named. 
 
When we teach this to our children, they actually see an order of importance here.  For instance, if competing in a sporting event is chosen over church, such an event is clearly more important than the worship of God.  This is how our children see it.  This is what their training is teaching them.  This is the choice the people they respect most have made.  This is deeply ingrained in them.  Yet, this is completely contradictory to New Testament Christianity as taught by Jesus Himself.  He said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).  Again He said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).  These choices matter to Jesus.  They matter to our own personal faith.  They matter to those in training in your household.  If we teach children that family events take precedence over the worship of God, we are teaching them contradictory to Jesus.  This is a choice that parents make.   The more often we make the wrong choice, the easier it will become to us.  But it’s no less wrong merely because our conscience has softened to it. 
 
Parents must show their children that personal devotions matter.  Children need to see their parents reading and studying God’s Word.  Parents should not only read in front of their children, but to them.  Engage them in the things of God.  Pray for them and with them.  Offer thanks before meals.  Live a godly life for your children to see.  Don’t be an example of hypocrisy to your child.  Show them Christ in you. 
 
I want to urge every Christian parent to consider the mortality of your children.  Your child is going to stand before God in judgment one day.   You have no control over when they leave this life.  Many children will die an early death today.  You may never have another opportunity to share the Gospel with them.  Again, I’m not trying to scare you, but this is a fact.  And really, it doesn’t matter if they live 150 years – if you don’t instill into them a respect for God, His Word and His church, who will?  Our society is falling apart before our eyes.  Many of the problems we see have arisen because a generation of children was taught (at least practically) that serving God is something we do part time in our spare time.  If you see the problems of our society and you recognize the problem, don’t make the same mistake with your own child.  If you love your children, don’t let them fall into the trap that the world has set. If for no other reason, train your child up in the things of God because the Bible tells you it is right to do so.